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Kevin's Diary
July 25th, 2017 (23AK) Back in 1943, I was in Vietnam riding on a dragon. However, I would seen be stopped and pulled over by a police for speeding. This man would become one of my linelong friends and we would go many adventures together, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, after being pulled over and subjected to 87 hours of community service, I was distraught and went back to my house. After sitting down on the homeless person who lives outside of the bank, I made sweet love to my leftover carrot from breakfast, and shortly afterwards the carrot gave birth to healthy baby girl I named Dolphin. The police officer who had previously fined me found me once again and offered his assistance, which I gladly accepted. I joined him on his tricycle with my newborn baby daughter and half eaten carrot and we journeyed to Hawaii, where we found ice cream deep inside of the volcanoes. Dolphin wanted to eat ice cream, but I insisted that she have her salad first. Frustrated and angry, my daughter jumped into the ocean and soon found herself in early 20th century Germany, where she went by the name "Adolf" and started World War II, killing my Jewish father in the process. You may be wondering why how can I exist if my daughter travelled back in time and killed my father, but I attribute this phenomenon to the magician that attended my fourth birthday party and sprinkled magic glitter all over my naked body. Once that glitter had covered my body from head to toe, I suddenly gained an inspiration and year's worth of literacy, and began writing my first book, a novel for young adults. After my book "The Bible" got worldwide approval, I have since been trying to discover how to create frozen ice. Also the reason why I want to be admin is q August 5th, 2017 (52AK) AFTER SWAGGING WITH THE GOONS IN LEGO LEAGUE, I REMEMBER HOW BEAUTIFUL THE SOUP WAS ON THE SHINING cat. Yet it is not time to reconquer the holy brotherland and reclaim the impure water to quench the hungers of the many kangaroos lurking in the shadows granting us the strength of at least twelve seven-legged spooders. But soon the time will come, when the moon falls into the ocean and rises magnetizing the ancient city of Atlanta gracing Earth with advanced technology created over a million years ago. But have the oceans salty waves destroyed the Atlantian's stock of unholy sheep, from which we may harvest dark wool from to perform the dark arts of resurrecting the dead, thus confirming my retirement plan of killing my friends, collecting their life insurance, and then reanimating them so they may work in my two star ramen shop that I plan to open in Japan after failing college? Only the bats know, and I must take another journey to the imaginary land of Australia in order to learn the truth.